God, you're like boner-b-gone
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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