My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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