dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'm at about main and main street
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
