I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
