i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
