so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
