i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
