Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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