Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
