$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
