this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
