I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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