Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
