I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
