I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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