I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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