Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
