Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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