woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
