"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
