oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
