I'm going to jail i love you
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
