How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
