My room smells like vodka and shame
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
