i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
