I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize