Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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