i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
