it wasn't lemon gatorade
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
