He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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