There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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