I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize