Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
