so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
