I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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