btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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