Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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