Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
