Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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