Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize