And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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