successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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