Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
