paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
