You can't special order awesome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize