just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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