Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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