Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
