My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
