brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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