I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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