I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
