this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
