my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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