If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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