i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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