i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
