just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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