you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
