She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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