Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Let's get the cat blown out
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm too high and old for this...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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