Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
