just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My bed smells like the plague
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
