did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
